Theological Journey

Minister Ashley Wai'olu Moore’s

Spiritual Development, Growth and Emerging Theology

As I near the end of my seminary education, I can honestly say that the particular theology I grew up with is not one that I was able to locate in my study of Christian historical traditions. It seems to have grown out of the Great Awakening tent revivals of the 19th century, but is similar to some of the “rapture” focused, evangelical theology found in the recent “left behind” movements. God was watching us all, jealous, quick to judge and ready to condemn people for the smallest infractions. He was not pleased with the state of the world and would soon be returning with fiery wrath reigning down vengeance in His final judgement and destruction of the world. We all had to be hyper-vigilant, keep ourselves on the straight and narrow, living sanctified, righteous lives and pray that we would be spared being cast into the fiery lake of hell. This was not a happy or healthy understanding of God, much less life giving. I began to reject this theology in my teens and eventually left Christianity altogether.

My first spouse’s parents were both Unitarian ministers. Unitarian-Universalist theology provided a new way of understanding spirituality and the nature of God that I found very liberating. Her father was good friends with the renowned religious scholar Houston Smith, and he introduced to Smith’s book The World’s Religions. I was introduced to other literature while attending community college perhaps most significantly the works of Joseph Campbell. I was fascinated by his research in comparative religion and mythology. These significantly broadened my theological horizons and I became a spiritual seeker. I am still endlessly fascinated by the ways in which humanity has engaged with the Divine throughout history and tried to describe, symbolize and name such experiences. I have been deeply influenced by Hinduism, Buddhism, Judaism and the indigenous traditions of my Native American ancestors. Another seminal book in my life was Caroline Myss’ Anatomy of the Spirit.

In 1999, I heard a description of God that deeply spoke to me and radically changed the course of my life. I was listening to a radio interview with NASA astrophysicist Bernard Haisch when, during a sidebar discussion, he said “You know we keep being able to see smaller and smaller elements of matter, first particles at the atomic level, then the sub atomic, then quarks and so forth. I believe that when we get down to the smallest level, to the thing that makes up everything, what we will find is light and that light is the light of God.”

It was such a simple, yet eloquent explanation that could also encompass all the teachings of the world's religions as well; that God is everything and that all things come from God, the idea of God around us, with us and within us all, etcetera. If all life is built of this light and ultimately returns to it, and is never really separated from it, it could be described as the beginning and the end, Alpha and Omega. The more I thought about it the more expansive it became. If this universal consciousness had WILL and could act upon it, moving and reshaping itself into anything, then certainly anything was possible! If that light was the life force and we know that life always begets more life and desires the continuation of life above all else, might this be the impetus for creation itself? And such a description could certainly qualify as the definition of a “God.”

This would mean that God is simultaneously none of the deities we've heard about and yet all of them. Certainly such a being would be beyond any of the constraints of human form that we might wish to ascribe to it, and yet something so completely different that we could never completely comprehend it. This ignited a fire in my heart and my imagination. It was a description of everything that made sense and rang true for me on all levels. It created an expansive peace in my spirit.

In The World’s Religions Houston Smith wrote:

“The Hindus have represented God in innumerable forms. This they say this is appropriate. Each is but a

symbol that points to something beyond; and none exhausts God's actual nature, the entire array is needed to complete the picture of God's aspects and manifestations. But though the representations point equally to God, it is advisable for each devotee to form a lifelong attachment to one of them. Only then can it’s meaning deepen and it's full power become accessible. The representation selected will be one's Ishta, or adopted form of the divine. They need not shun other forms, but this one will never be displaced and will always enjoy a special place in its disciple's heart. The ideal form for most people will be one of God's incarnations, for God can be loved most readily in human form because our hearts are already attuned to loving people. Smith reports that Hindu priests will frequently open their temple ceremonies with a beloved invocation:

“Thou art everywhere, but I worship you here

Thou art without form, but I worship you in these forms

Thou needest no praise, yet I offer you these prayers and salutations...”

(Smith, Houston, The World’s Religions. HarperCollins Publishers. New York, 1991:36)

This quantum description of the “light of God” remains my fundamental understanding of, what Joseph Campbell would term, “that which lies beyond the Mask(s) of God”.

Western theologian Sallie McFague reminds us that, “We simply cannot begin to understand the invisible consciousness that is the great mystery and especially the essence of God which exists beyond our universe. This is the paradox we must always hold with reverence in order to keep our faith alive, our symbols meaningful and our language liberating for all people.” Metaphorically speaking, anything that we might say that God is, God is not. This tension between the cataphatic and apophatic schools of theological thought is the heart of the paradox we call “faith.”

I also had cause to sit down and read the King James version of the Bible in 1999 and found that God in Christ was very different from the religion I had been taught as a child. I fell in love with the Jesus of the gospels, who reflected the divine love and compassion that I had found in other religious traditions. I felt deep resonance for his radically inclusive, social justice ministry. Bernard Haisch’s panentheistic understanding of God allowed me to accept the divinity of Jesus as Christ, including the possibility of an immaculate conception and virgin birth. This was a catalytic paradigm shift for me and I soon became a disciple of Jesus Christ.

Thus I believe that God is within all things and all things are within God. Further, after spending many years as a spiritual seeker, I chose Jesus as my Ishta and consciously decided that my spiritual language and symbols would be Christ-ian. They are no more significant, valid or meaningful than any others, and I understand them in the context of what I call my “Panentheistic Quantum String Theory of everything.” This is how I came to identify myself as a Christian Panentheist.

The formative spiritual community I have most identified with is the City of Refuge, United Church of Christ in San Francisco, CA. I became a member in October of the year 2000. Though I have been away for periods of time and involved with ministries in other faith settings in the ensuing years, the City of Refuge has remained my "spiritual home." The founding creed focuses on the "radically inclusive ministry of Jesus Christ". The welcome statement reads, "We are intentionally radically inclusive, welcoming all persons regardless of race, color, ancestry, age, gender, affectional orientation, and those who are specially-abled. We celebrate the Creator's diversity! We Worship Christ!" Not only did this speak to my egalitarian sense of social justice, but also it spoke to my (then) new understanding of the teachings of Jesus himself. While the membership is predominantly African-American, the membership comes from all walks of life: queer, straight, transgender, androgynous, affluent, poor, professional, working class, Christians, Pagans, Jews, Buddhists, Hindus, Ifa...all are welcome. But the worship and focus is around the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth and the style of worship is self-described as "Bapti-Metho-costal."

It was in this environment that I felt called to launch a transgender music ministry that became known as the Transcendence Gospel Choir. To my surprise, TGC’s “travelling ministry” was met with an enthusiastic response by both the queer and religious communities. TGC’s ministry even helped change the bylaws of the United Church of Christ in 2003. Through TGC’s regional and national performances I very quickly began meeting leaders from a variety of churches and religious institutions. This networking led to my involvement with additional local ministries. Many of these faith leaders began encouraging me to attend seminary and move toward vocational ministry, but I was hesitant. In 2011, I had the blessing to assist in launching an emergent, interfaith service called Ellipsis and came to serve as music director. In 2012, I accepted a position as Music Director at the First Congregational Church of Oakland where I have been serving ever since. I became a member in the spring of 2013.

Eventually, I surrendered to the call of the Holy Spirit and enrolled in the Masters of Divinity program at the Pacific School of Religion (PSR). But because of my exposure to these diverse denominations, I intentionally entered a period of discernment regarding a denominational path for ordination. Subsequently, I completed two one-year Field Ed internships, the first at Tapestry Ministries, Disciples of Christ and the second at Saint Paulus Lutheran Church of San Francisco, Evangelical Lutheran Church of America. (ELCA). During the later, I also became the program and music director for the Singers of the Street homeless choir, launched a special music program at Grace Lutheran Church of San Francisco and began offering Pastoral Care services as a volunteer for SF Cares Friendship Banquet, a program for homeless people living with AIDS/HIV. Due to the enthusiastic support of Lutheran leaders, I transferred from PSR to the California Lutheran University’s Pacific Lutheran Theological Seminary (PLTS) in the Spring of 2016. However, being intensively immersed in Lutheran theology and polity for a year threw into sharp relief the differences between the ELCA denomination and that of the UCC. Thus, I began to fall in love with the UCC all over again, rejoicing in the expansive theological grounding, the focus on social justice issues and the radically inclusive understanding of the ministry of Jesus Christ. I remembered that this was the living gospel message and spiritual sustenance that had compelled me to change my life and led me into ministry in the first place. In 2017 I became a Member in Discernment for ordination with the Northern California Nevada Conference of the United Church of Christ. I am currently in care with my home church, the First Congregational Church of Oakland (FCCO).

Your sister in Christ,

Ashley Wai’olu Moore

Ashley Wai’olu Moore’s Credo:

I believe that there is only one God.

I believe that God was the creator of all creation.

I believe God is both transcendent and immanent.

I believe that God is within all things.

I believe that God is the sustainer of all life.

I believe that God is the life force.

I believe that all creation is one with God.

I believe that all life is sacred. Do no harm.

I believe that God is composed of many attributes, such as love, compassion, forgiveness, faithfulness, and more.

I believe God to be all inclusive.

I believe that God is devoid of ego.

I believe that God is omni-gendered.

I believe that God is a god of many names and answers to them all.

I believe that that all people were created in God’s image and are aspects of that image.

I believe in the Holy Scriptures.

I also believe that no single book could contain all there is to know about a transcendent and immanent God or God’s path.

I believe we all have the right to rituals and sacraments that will enhance our lives and expressions of God.

I believe in the importance of congregational worship and fellowship.

I believe that Jesus Christ was the incarnation of God.

I believe that Jesus Christ came to us, shared our common lot, conquered sin and death and reconciled the world to himself.

I believe that Jesus Christ was the divine example of inclusiveness.

I believe that Jesus Christ was the divine example of unconditional love.

I believe that part of Jesus Christ’s purpose was to teach us a way of life,

I believe that we are called to be disciples of Jesus Christ.

I believe that we are called to be Christ to one another.

I believe that Christ calls us into his church to accept the cost and joy of discipleship, to be his servants in the service of the whole human family, to proclaim the gospel to all the world and resist the powers of evil, to share in Christ's baptism and eat at his table, to join him in his passion and victory.

God promises to all forgiveness of sins and fullness of grace, courage in the struggle for justice and peace, his presence in trial and rejoicing, and eternal life in his kingdom which has no end.

I am an apophatic disciple of Christ. I like this tension between the enigmatic, transcendent God and the immanent, incarnate Jesus Christ. I identify myself as a Christian Panentheist, believing that God is in all things and all things are within God. My spiritual language and symbols are Christ-ian. I agree with Martin Luther’s idea of “ already, but not yet.”

I was raised as a Christian, but with a very different theology. My parents came from two different traditions: my mother’s family was rooted in the Southern Baptist denomination, while my father was raised with a strict and repressive Catholic theology. We did not attend any church regularly, but I was “home churched,” mostly by my mother and my uncle Jim who was an ordained, fire and brimstone preaching, Baptist minister. As indicated below, my parents were deeply affected by Hal Lindsey’s book The Late, Great Planet Earth and came to believe that the eschatological apocalypse described in the book of Revelation was immanent.